How to Make Toilet Paper Out of Albuquerque the Magazine

December 12, 2007

1. Rip Albuquerque the Magazine into small bits, and place into the blender. Fill the blender with warm water. Run the blender slowly at first then increase the speed until the pulp looks smooth and well blended (30 -40 seconds) Check that no flakes of paper remain. If there are, blend longer.

2. The next step is to make a mold. The mold, in this case, is made simply by stretching fiberglass screen (plain old door and window screen) over a wooden frame and stapling it. It should be as tight as possible.

3. Fill the basin about half way with water. Add 3 blender loads of pulp. (the more pulp you add the thicker the finished paper will be). Stir the mixture.

4. Place the mold into the pulp and then level it out while it is submerged. Gently wiggle it side-to-side until the pulp on top of the screen looks even.

5. Slowly lift the mold up until it is above the level of the water. Wait until most of the water has drained from the new paper sheet. If the paper is very thick, remove some pulp from the tub. If it is too thin, add more pulp and stir the mixture again.

6. Now comes the tricky part. Hold the fabric square flat and slowly lift the edge of the mold until the sheets of paper peel off.  They can be dried by hanging on a clothesline or laying them out on sheets of newspaper. When they have dried peel them off the fabric and voila! you have toiletpaper!

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